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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #15 on: Jul 15th, 2006, 03:15am »

Dude, you should get a TV show. People would actually pay money to hear you.

I know I'd go to it.
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #16 on: Jul 15th, 2006, 03:26am »

Heh, I wouldn't know that I had a fanbase from the lack of different posters.
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #17 on: Jul 15th, 2006, 10:42am »

Your funny, dude. Keep it up. I don't even agree with half of what you say, but I have respect for these well done rants.
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #18 on: Jul 16th, 2006, 3:51pm »

*clapping in the background*

"And now, a message from the President of the United states."

"Tonight I want to take a few minutes to discuss a great threat to peace.

The dictator who is assembling the world's most dangerous weapons... Is here in our own country.

He is the homicidal dictator who is addicted to Weapons of Mass Destruction.

He has proven he is capable of any crime.

That tyrant is me.

I have recieved directions from the Administration...

To support the use of violence against all of you.

I will kill thousands...

Or...

Hundreds of thousands of innocent people in our country, and across the world.

I resolve to bring sudden terror and suffering, with horrible poisons, diseases and gasses.

Men and women...

Boys and girls...

Thousands of civillians...

Will be killed in a single day.

Murdered at random...

And without remorse.

My ultimate ambitions are to control the peoples of the United States, and to blackmail the rest of the world with Weapons of mass terror...

Weapons of Mass Destruction...

*scream*

Weapons... Of...

*several gunshots*

Mass... Destruction..."


http://youtube.com/watch?v=NWJZm1jM7ZI&search=the%20tyrant
« Last Edit: Jul 16th, 2006, 3:56pm by Lithe » User IP Logged

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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #19 on: Jul 17th, 2006, 02:25am »

Sorry about that... Anyway, with Diane gone and that presidential note out of the way, I can finally begin working on a new rant Expect one to come within the next week if i'm not busy.
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #20 on: Jul 23rd, 2006, 1:03pm »

Well, I love words, I thank you for hearing my words, I wish to tell you something about words that I think is important. Thoguh I say they're my work, they're my play... Words are all we have really. There are some people that aren't into ALL the words, there are some poeple who would have you not use certain words... There are four-hundred thousand words in the english language... And there are seven of them that you cant say on television... What a ratio that is.

Three hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety three... To seven They must reeeeeeally be bad. They'd have to be outrageous to be seperated from a group that large! Thats what they told you they were, "Thats a bad word!" *cry* ... There ar eno bad words! Bad thoughts, bad intentions, and words. You know the seven that you can't say on television, dont you? *censored*piss*censored**censored*Censored suckermother*censored*ernitits eh?

... Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul... Curve your spine... And prevent the country from winning the wars... *censored*piss*censored**censored*Censored suckermother*censored*erntits wow...

You can understand why some of them are there... I mean im not completely insensitive to peoples feelings. I can dig why some of those words got on the list... Like... Censored sucker and mother*censored*er... Those are... Those are heavyweight words... Theres alot goin' on there man... besides the literal translaton and the emotional impact, ther just busy words. Theres alot of syllables to contendw with, and those regressive Ks, they kinda jump out at you.

Now we mentioned sh*t earlier ofcourse, two other four-letter anglosaxon words are piss and *censored* which go together ofcourse but forget that... A little accidental humor there... Well the reason that piss and *censored* are on the list is that a long time ago, certain ladies said "Those are the two i'm not going to say! I don't midn *censored* and sh*t but P and C are out!" ... Which lead to such stupid sentences as "Okay you *censored*ers im going to tinkle now!"

And ofcourse the word *censored* *sigh*... Ironic though, it is the beginning of life and yet we use the word to hurt each other quite often. Much wiser men than I have said "I would rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one another." And I ofcouse can agree, it's a great sentiment, I wish I knew who said it first and I agree with that, but just to show a point, I want to replace the word "kill" with the word "*censored*" in all the action movie cliche's we grew up with. "Okay sherrif we're gonna *censored* ya now... But we're gonna *censored* ya slow!"

However, there are two way words. The ones mentioned above are the ones you can NEVER say on television under ANY circumstance. You can just never say them EVER EVER EVER, not even clinically, you can't weave them in on the pannel with Doc and Ed and Johnny I mean it's just impossible... But there are twoway words! Those double-meaning words. Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade?

And the Censored crowed three times, "Ya the Censored crowed three times yeeeeeh! It's in the Bible yeeeheheeeeh!" Like it's okay for Kurt Goudy to say "Roberto Climenti has two balls en ummm..." But he can't say, "I think he hurt is balls on that play Tony, don't you? He's holding them, it must be pretty bad..." And the other two-way word that goes with that one is prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger! You can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick, no no!

When I started running through all the cattegories of dirty words, I realized there are more ways to describe filthy words than there are filthy words. Seemed curious to me. I found an awful lot of ways to reffer to them. I called them, bad language, dirty, filthy, foul, vile, vulgar, coarse, unseemly, in poor taste, street language, locker room talk, gutter talk, barracks langauge, nauhgty, saucy, boady, raunchy, rude, lude, lacidious, indecent, profane, obscene, off-color, risky, suggestive, cursing, cussing, swearing... All I could think of was *censored*piss*censored**censored*Censored suckermother*censored*erntits man...
« Last Edit: Jul 23rd, 2006, 1:07pm by Lithe » User IP Logged

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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #21 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 04:04am »

You have the coolest, funniest, most vulgar opinions ever! grin
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #22 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 06:42am »

Thank you.

That's my political humor. People like it when you'r topical.

Some people wouldnt want me to talk like that. Some people would like to shut me up for saying those things, lots of people! Lots of groups in this country want to tell you how to talk. Tell us what we can and can't say.

There is a different grup to get pissed off at you in this country for everything you'r not supposed to say. Can't say fruit, can't say *censored*, can't say queer, can't say nancy-boy, can't say pansy. Can't say n!gger, boogie, jig, jigaboo, skinhead, junglebuny, mulenjan, schvatsa. Can't say yid, heeb, zeeb, kike, moche', dego, guinea, wap, ginzo, greaser, grease-ball, spick, be@ner, oije', tiger, PR, mick, donkey, turkey, limey, frog, square-head, kraut, jerry, hun, chink, jap, nip, slope, slope-head, zip, zipper-head, gook...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these words in and of themselves! They're only words! Its the context that counts. It's the user! It's the intention behind the words that makes them good or bad! The words are completely neutral! The words are innocent! I get tired of people talking about bad words and bad language! Bull*censored*! It's the context that makes them good or bad!

For instance, take the word n!gger. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the word n!gger in and of itself! It's the racist *censored* who's using it that you should be concerned with! We don't care if Gary Coleman or Eddie Murphy say it! Why? Because we know their not racist. Context! We don't mind their context becuase we know they're black! Hey, I know im whitey the blue-eyed devil pattio fake grey-boy honkey muthafuka myself! Don' bother Censored! They're only words! You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth. Even if it's an unpleasent truth like the fact that theres a bigot and a racist in every living room and street corner in this country.

I don't like words that hide the truth. I don't like euphamisms. And modern american language is LOADED with euphamisms. because Americans have alot of trouble dealing with reality. Americans have trouble facing the truth. So they invent a kindof soft language to protect themselves from it, and it gets worse with every generation! I'll give you an example. There is a condition in combat, most people know about it, it's when a fighting persons nervous system is stressed to it's absolute limit and has either snapped or is about to snap. In the first world war, that condition was called Shellshock. Straight-forward simple, direct and honest language. Shellshock. Two syllables. Sounds almost like the guns themselves. That was almost a hundred years ago.

Then a whole generation went by, the second world war came along and the very same combat condition was called Battle Fatigue. Four syllables now. Takes a little longer to say, dosent seem to hurt as much. Fatigue is a nicer word than shock. Shellshock! Battle Fatigue. Then we had the war in Korea, 1950... Madison avenue was riding high by that point, and the exact same combat condition was called 'Operational Exhaustion'. Hey, we're up to eight syllables now! And the humanity has been completely squeezed out of the phraze! 'Operational Exhaustion' sounds like something that might happen to your car!

Then ofcourse came the war in Vietnam which has been over for only about twenty to thirty years, and thanks to the lies and deciets surrounding that war, I guess its no surprise that the very same condition was called 'Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder'... Still eight syllables but we've added a hyphen! And the pain is completely buried under jargon. 'Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder'. I'll bet you that if, back then, the condition was still called shellshock, some of the veterans would have gotten the medical attention they needed at the time.

But, it didn't happen. And the reason is because of that soft language. It just takes the life out of life! Another example would be that, some time during my life, toilet paper became 'Bathroom Tissue'. I wasn't notified of this. Nobody asked if I agreed. it just happened. Toilet paper became 'Bathroom Tissue'. Sneakers became 'Running Shoes'. False teeth became 'Dental Appliances'. Medicine became 'Medication'. Information became 'Directory Assistance'. The dump became 'The Landfill'. Car crashes became 'Automobile Accidents'. Partly clloudy became 'Partly Sunny'. Motels became 'Motor Lodges'. House trailers became 'Mobile Homes'. Used cars became 'Previously owned Transportation'. Room service became 'Guestroom Dining'. And constapation became 'Occasional Irregularity'.

When I was younger, if I got sick they wanted me to go to a hospital and see a doctor. Now they want me to go to a health maintenance organization or a wellness centre and consult a healthcare specialist. Poor people used to live in slums. Now the economically disadvantaged occupy substandard housing in the inner-cities. And their BROKE! They're BROKE! They don't have 'A negative cashflow position.' They're *censored*IN' BROKE! Because alot of them were fired. Y'know fired? Management wanted to curtail redundencies in the human resources department, so many people are no longer viable members of the workforce?

Smug, greedy, well-fed white people have invented a language to conceal their sins, it's as simple as that. The CIA dosen't kill anyone anymore, they 'Neutralize' people, or they 'Depopulate the Area'. The government dosen't lie, it 'Engages in Disinformation.' The Pentagon actually measures nuclear radiation in something they call, 'Sunshine Units'. Isreli murderers are called 'Commandos'. Arab commandos are called 'Terrorists'. Contract killers are called 'Freedom Fighters'. Well, if Crime Fighters fight crime and Fire Fighters fight fire, what do Freedom Fighters fight? They never mention that to you!

And some of this is just stupid. Like on the airlines, the announcement would ask you to 'Pre-Board'. I wrote a bit about this before... What the hell does thta mean? You get on before you get on!? They say, "We would like to pre-board those passengers in need of special assistance." ... CRIPPLES! Simple, honest, direct language! There's no shame attatched to the word cripple that I can find in any dictionary! It's even used in the bible! "Jesus healed the cripple..." dDoes it take seven words to discribe that condition!? but we don't ahve any more cripples int his country anymore, we have, 'The Physically Challenged!' There! Is that a grotesque enough evasion for you!? How about, 'Differently Abled?' I've heard them called that, 'Differently Abled!' You can't even call the handicapped anymore! They'll say, "We're not handicapped! We're handicapable!" ... >.<

These poor people have been bull*censored*ted by the systm into believing that if you change the name of the disorder, you'll change the disorder! Dosen't happen!

We have no more deaf people in this country, only the 'Hearing Impaired'. No one's blind anymore, only 'Partially Sighted' or 'Visually Impaired'. We have no more stupid people, only individuals with 'Learning Disorders', or 'Minimally Exceptional.' How would you like to be told that about your child? "He's minimally exceptional." "Oh thank God for that, I thought he was an idiot." Psychologists have actually started calling ugly people, 'Those with Severe Appearance Defficits'. Infact, it's getting so bad that any day now I expect to hear a rape victim reffered to as an 'Unwilling Sperm Recipient'!

Also, there are no more old people! We shipped them all away and replaced them with, 'Senior Citizens'. Isn't that a typical twentieth century American phrase? but I've come to terms with that one, I realize that it's here to stay. But the one I still do resist is when a guy looks at a old person and says, "Eh, look at him Dan. He's ninety years young!"

Wha-!? Imagine the fear of ageing that reveals! To not even be able to use the word old to describe someone! To have to use an antonym! And fear of ageing is natural, it's universal isn't it? No one wants to get old, no one wants to die, but we do! So we bull*censored* ourselves! I reckon i'll start bull*censored*ting myself when I get into my fourties. Look into a mirror and say to myself, "Hmm... Looks like im getting... older!" Older dosent sound as bad as old, even sounds like it'll last longer! Bull*censored*, Im getting old! And it's okay! Becuase thanks to our fear of death in this country, I won't have to die... I'll pass away! Or i'll expire like a magazine subscription! If it happens at the hospital, they'll call it a 'Terminal Episode'. The insurance company will refer to it as 'Negative Patiant Care Outcome'. And if it's the result of malpractice they'll say it was a 'Theraputic Misadventure'...

I tell ya, some of this langauge makes me want to vomit... Well... Maybe not vomit... Makes me want to engage in a 'Involuntary Personal Protien Spill!'
« Last Edit: Jul 24th, 2006, 06:48am by Lithe » User IP Logged

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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #23 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 11:54am »

Wahahahah! That was Awsome!
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #24 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 03:30am »

I have to say, you're really hitting the nail on the head there.
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #25 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 03:42am »

Thanks. Any ideas for my next rant?
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #26 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 06:49am »

on Jul 24th, 2006, 06:42am, Lithe wrote:
Thank you.

Smug, greedy, well-fed white people have invented a language to conceal their sins, it's as simple as that. The CIA dosen't kill anyone anymore, they 'Neutralize' people, or they 'Depopulate the Area'. The government dosen't lie, it 'Engages in Disinformation.' The Pentagon actually measures nuclear radiation in something they call, 'Sunshine Units'. Isreli murderers are called 'Commandos'. Arab commandos are called 'Terrorists'. Contract killers are called 'Freedom Fighters'. Well, if Crime Fighters fight crime and Fire Fighters fight fire, what do Freedom Fighters fight? They never mention that to you!


I like your rants. Good point, good point. As for the n!gger thing, I don't care if a black person says it to me or calls me that, I do not like that word and never will.
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #27 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 09:01am »

Thanks. Yeah, well those words don't really mean anythign unless used in a specific situation. Why, iwhbydbtdbmotf might be a racial slur referring to people named Johnson for all you know. This one's for you CharlesFrost.
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #28 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 12:06pm »

Now, as you may have noticed, in these rants I don't really talk much about me. It's usually certain problems with society that has me excessing over. But, this time, I would like to adress a problem that I find almost hilariously common in American society.

Drugs.

You heard me right.

This is going to be a touchy subject for all you potheads out there. Those Censored ing bastards who are moving to 'Legalize Medicinal Marihuana'. I'll tell you now, these people don't give two Censored s about the medicinal benifits of medical marihuana. They just want to get high and not get bothered by the cops! That's all there is! Don't let them fool you!

And im getting sick and tired of this "Blablabla blablabla marihuana. And did you know that they can make jeans out of hemp? Very durable clothing can be made out of hemp!" Yeah, and it feels like Censored in' burlap you dumbass! Who the hell wants to walk around in something that feels like a potato sack!? You might, I don't.

And when they interview the head of these organizations, who is usually a hackeysack-playing dumbass with beady red eyes, lying through his teeth and giggling like an idiot. "It's a ligitemate form of medicine." Yeah, great. Just what our healthcare system needs. Broke potheads running to every Censored ing hospital they see trying to get free medicinal marihuana paid for by the taxpayers so they can get high because they came up with some Censored ing stupid dumbass fake disease. "My eye hurts! Gimme some pot doc!" Okay, ya know what you do? Light up a joint, and put it out in your eye. That's my prescribed use of medicinal marihuana.

I'm sick and tired of people saying, "Well, it relieves stress!" You people are the worst! One, your weak-willed. Two, your Censored ing pathetic. Oh I had a stressful day so I gotta have some pot! Gimme a Censored ing break! You people just can't deal with reality, and that's your problem. I don't give two Censored s if you "Had a Stressful Day". Big deal! The rest of the world had a stressful day. It's called life. Deal with it. And then they try to throw that Censored back at you. "Well im sure you got some addictions. Probably caffene!" Oh, right. So I have a cup of coffee and suddenly i'm a Censored ing addict! Oh yeah, cream-cheese too! Gettin' high on the creamcheese!

And as long as we're on drugs, lets move on up to the crackheads and all these other motherCensored ers who need to deal with a foreign substance just to get through the day. This is the problem with society. Everyone needs a quick fix. Why don't these people just say, 'Okay, this is life. Life is not enjoyable. Fine, I had a stressful day. Why don't I just go home and sleep? No! I gotta whip out the crack and do six lines!' Nice. I hope you people get shot in the head in a drug bust that went wrong! Want a stressful day? Try having a bullet removed from your head! Now THAT is stressful!
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xx Re: Things That Really Piss Me Off
« Reply #29 on: Jul 30th, 2006, 1:13pm »

cheesy Man that's some cool ranting Lithe! smiley smiley
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